He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Randomize
