from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
