Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Randomize
