is your mom at the bar?
I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
