feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
