i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
