I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
