Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
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