I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
