So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
