she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
