covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
