Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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