Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
