Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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