I feel great
I just peed on a car
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
