New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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