ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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