I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
