I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
