No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
