last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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