i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
