the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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