Dual....:-)
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
