I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
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