Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
