just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
