i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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