is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
