I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
