Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I had to cum in my sink.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
