apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
