Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
So vagazzling was a success
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
