it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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