Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Randomize
