She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
