I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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