Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
