I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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