I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I love black thongs
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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