what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
