I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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