I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
