I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I could make wine with my vomit
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
