WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
