True but thats because hes a fetus.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
