My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
