I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Randomize
