He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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